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Bereishis #4
Bereishis
Rashi (3;6) states that Eve gave Adam to eat "so that she should not die and he survive and marry another."
Rabbi Yochanan Zweig explains that the torah (2;21) says that Hashem created Eve from Adam (in contrast, Adam was created directly from Hashem). Rabbi Zweig explains that we learn from here that women get their sense of selves from men (as Eve, the first woman, was created from Adam, the first man). Meaning, all women get their sense of existence solely from their husbands. Women want to know that their husbands need them and that they cannot be replaced by another woman. Even if a woman feels as though they exist, if they feel as though their husband could replace them with another woman then that means that they are not really needed. Similarly, had Eve died and Adam survived to marry another woman then that would have meant that she really didn't make a difference, for Adam could have simply married someone else. Rabbi Zweig therefore explains that a women's sense of being must come from husband. As a result, Eve needed Adam to die to feel as though she was a necessary piece of his life. Adam on the other hand, Rabbi Zweig explains, was created completely from Hashem. As a result, in contrast to women, men get their sense of existence through connecting to Hashem.
Further, Rabbi Zweig explains that in marriage one has to give to their spouse even if they don't feel as though they owe it to them. Similarly, no marriage could work if one has the the attitude of "I'll only give you if you give me," for that defeats the whole relationship. One who says that shows that they only like their spouse for what they receive from them, instead of loving their spouse for the person they are. Rabbi Zweig explains that in order to show one's spouse that they love them for the person they are one must give to them even when there is no need to pay them back for anything. Meaning, man should give to his wife in order to show his love, not simply to pay her back when she gives to him. Therefore, Rabbi Zweig explains that one must give to their spouse even if they haven't received anything.
Rabbi Zweig explains that women need their husband to give to them for no reason at all (meaning: even when they haven't received anything) in order to feel as though she exists. If one only gives to their wife as a sign of gratitude for all that they've received then that shows that their love is dependent upon everything he has received from her. A man has to give towards his wife even if she hasn't earned or deserved anything. If one giving to their wife is dependent upon their receiving from her then she won't feel truly loved, as she's only getting loved because of what she has given--not for the person she is. Rabbi Zweig explains that women need man's approval more than men need approval from women. Women ultimately find their sense of self solely from their husband. Therefore, a husband needs to be willing to gratify his wife whether or not she gives to him.
In this week's parsha Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge and then gave Adam some fruit to eat from the tree as well (3;6).
Rashi (3;6) states that Eve gave Adam to eat "so that she should not die and he survive and marry another."
The question is: How could Eve kill Adam by offering him to eat from the Tree of Knowledge? Just because Adam could have married another girl later doesn't mean she was right to offer him fruit from the tree! Why did Eve knowingly tell her husband to do something that would cause him to die?
Rabbi Yochanan Zweig explains that the torah (2;21) says that Hashem created Eve from Adam (in contrast, Adam was created directly from Hashem). Rabbi Zweig explains that we learn from here that women get their sense of selves from men (as Eve, the first woman, was created from Adam, the first man). Meaning, all women get their sense of existence solely from their husbands. Women want to know that their husbands need them and that they cannot be replaced by another woman. Even if a woman feels as though they exist, if they feel as though their husband could replace them with another woman then that means that they are not really needed. Similarly, had Eve died and Adam survived to marry another woman then that would have meant that she really didn't make a difference, for Adam could have simply married someone else. Rabbi Zweig therefore explains that a women's sense of being must come from husband. As a result, Eve needed Adam to die to feel as though she was a necessary piece of his life. Adam on the other hand, Rabbi Zweig explains, was created completely from Hashem. As a result, in contrast to women, men get their sense of existence through connecting to Hashem.
Further, Rabbi Zweig explains that in marriage one has to give to their spouse even if they don't feel as though they owe it to them. Similarly, no marriage could work if one has the the attitude of "I'll only give you if you give me," for that defeats the whole relationship. One who says that shows that they only like their spouse for what they receive from them, instead of loving their spouse for the person they are. Rabbi Zweig explains that in order to show one's spouse that they love them for the person they are one must give to them even when there is no need to pay them back for anything. Meaning, man should give to his wife in order to show his love, not simply to pay her back when she gives to him. Therefore, Rabbi Zweig explains that one must give to their spouse even if they haven't received anything.
Rabbi Zweig explains that women need their husband to give to them for no reason at all (meaning: even when they haven't received anything) in order to feel as though she exists. If one only gives to their wife as a sign of gratitude for all that they've received then that shows that their love is dependent upon everything he has received from her. A man has to give towards his wife even if she hasn't earned or deserved anything. If one giving to their wife is dependent upon their receiving from her then she won't feel truly loved, as she's only getting loved because of what she has given--not for the person she is. Rabbi Zweig explains that women need man's approval more than men need approval from women. Women ultimately find their sense of self solely from their husband. Therefore, a husband needs to be willing to gratify his wife whether or not she gives to him.
In closing, Rabbi Zweig explains that only in a marriage where the wife gets her sense of existence from her husband could the two merge and become like one. If one is weak and selfish then their wife will eventually feel the same towards him and many problems will arise. Therefore, it is extremely crucial for man to make sure to give towards his wife and show her that he is dependent upon her. In order to give her this feeling, Rabbi Zweig explains that one should initiate the giving instead of waiting to receive and then simply being responsive by giving back.
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