Get More Enthusiasm for Your Judaism!
Some time ago, I wrote an article about modesty. I expressed my opinions and the way I viewed modesty in a woman. This is an opinion, not halachic, expression from my male view of modesty. I thought I would share it and face the wrath of those that may have other opinions.
In today's competitive world, people are constantly looking for ways to draw attention to themselves. Unfortunately, many have chosen to display themselves immodestly. They are "confident", believing that the attention they attract will bring them all they seek. We know, however, that it seldom brings anything of real or lasting value.
These women, in fact, are, often the ones that have little or no confidence in who they really are. Rather, they are confident in their superficial-self for attracting others. They may resort to "trickery" or improper ways, to cover up their lack of true self-confidence. Instead of covering themselves to show that they are confident with the essence of who they really are, they uncover themselves, trying to feel confident through exploiting their materialistic, physical self and attracting the false world. They will then rationalize, in all manner of ways (comfort, style, proud of my body, etc.), how it is that they are the confident ones, not like the ones who cover up. In justification, they may even invoke G-d’s name, saying, "What’s wrong? This is the way He made us.", while rejecting all other G-dly issues and guidelines not fitting their life style.
Modesty is a way of showing the world that one is comfortable and confident with their real values and self, the way G-d wants us to be. They don't need, nor do they want, to degrade themselves. They understand that their value is far greater than the attraction of flesh. They realize that the physical loses its appeal with age, but confidence remains above all the physical and can only grow stronger and eternal.
Others may argue that those who dress modestly, do so to cover up their physical flaws. This argument is merely the sad rationalization they try to believe in order to justify the ways that they show their "self-confidence". Time, however, usually proves them wrong and leaves them covering up, not in confidence, but in shame or embarrassment. Their argument can no longer be supported and, sadly, most are left without any real sense of value and certainly, little true self-confidence. Their memories of "who they were" must sustain what’s left of their beliefs. Those they attracted for the physical reasons have faded away along with the physical attraction.
A woman of modesty has no pretense of right or not right. She understands and lives her life in confidence. Interestingly, it is the modest woman that often attracts the eye within the sea of immodesty. If, for no other reason than, she is confident enough to be unique among the crowd. People can sense and know her for who she really is.
The mystery of modesty attracts the mind. The image of immodesty attracts the flesh. The flesh is weak and the spirit strong. Like attracts like. However you say it, how do you want to attract? How do you want to be respected?